April 19th

I stare at your forehead,

as we pass each other in the halls

because your eyes keep deflecting mine

with sheer ignorance.

Now you think I'd be used to this by now,

spending my days staring at the back of your head during math class.

My night are spent fighting,

because maybe if I'm the loudest one in the bleachers you might finally notice me,

but even as my voice starts to sounds hoarse,

and the echoes of my shouts are still bouncing between us,

you don't look.

I just keep telling myself,

“it's not his fault,

he's always in the spotlight,

and the limelight turns me green,

and who could notice a green girl in high school?”

and maybe he's concussed,

he's always answering wrong in classes,

so confident that he has the right answer,

maybe he just can't think straight.

What if he's not straight?

What if all the locker room nudity and post-game ass-slapping has turned him away from my gender?

That's not so bad I think.

At least then I won't have to worry about the cheerleading skanks

stealing him away from me,

but what about the male cheerleaders?

Oh, wouldn't I like to see that...

Wait, wait, wait.

This is not wait I meant to be talking about,

I'm supposed to be keeping on topic here.

I wanted to talk about,

how everyday,

you look through my face like glass,

like the window you're always staring out in biology class.

I wanted to talk about how, for some reason,

even though I keep throwing myself in your way,

you swerve around me and manage to continue thinking I don't exist.

I want to talk about

how you've never asked me what day it is,

how, even when I'm standing in front of the clock you will ask a complete stranger what time it is.

I want to talk about,

how I seem to be jus a ghost,

haunting you,

but you never get scared,

never even notice me walking right towards you,

even though I've memorized every line of your face,

and have counted al 42 freckles on that flawless forehead your eyes keep leading me back to.